We permanently strive, at home and at the job, hoping to be recognized and become different from the others. We really want to persuade people that we are special.
We are taught that if we gain (money, prizes, and authority) we can become somebody. We see the same examples around us every day. As kids, we learn Esop’s fable telling us the story of the reckless, yet gifted rabbit and the turtle, hardly walking, still constantly going forward. We understand the moral, but, anyway, who has ever wanted to be the turtle? (Carol Dweck)
We run after success and we always show our extraordinary invincibility, sometimes even in battles that we just imagine.
Having learnt the lesson, we get scared of failure. We have no power to speak about our failures and we hide them as deep as we can at all our life interviews. We only talk about our performances, we know that others put high expectations on us and we do not want to let them down. We know that only success makes us somebody.
Our high self esteem encourages our desire of being special. In fact, what we really want is to be „Super Somebody” increasing our authority and giving us rights upon the others.
The question is: if when we have success we are somebody, when we don’t, who are we?
When we lose our results, our prizes, our authority, do we automatically become nobody, as we are tempted to believe? Is there anything between being somebody and nobody?
We try hard to prove our talents in victories and results, yet efforts are seldom appreciated, trainings often ignored. What does it matter if you learn how to play very well, as long as you do not score at the match?
Today we want to win, not to play well. Trainings are far less important for us, than being celebrated for victory.
The issue in Esop’s fable is that we only have an either-or perspective. Either you are gifted – the rabbit, or you make effort – the turtle. Endeavour is, in this case, just for the ones not really gifted. As society, M. Gladwell says, we generally appreciate the achievement obtained without effort, we let apart endless hours of work and failures that actually build our success. We want success to appear easy, owing to our natural abilities.
Yet the truth is that only by effort you can win the race. How important could it be to succeed in protecting less our ego and being able to appreciate effort as much as success?
How well could it be to fill in the space between somebody and nobody with people like us, who can afford to be in between, without struggling to become somebody no matter what? How harmonious could our relationships be if being somebody would not really mean being better than others?
More than this, how happy could we be if we can become somebody for the others without becoming anybody for ourselves?